My 1st Treatment

So I had my 1st treatment today and it went off pretty well. Did not get alot of sleep last night and im guessing it was cause I stayed up late cause I was nervous and my mind kept running....."Will it hurt"...."Is my hair just gonna fall off right there in front of everyone"......"Are they gonna push through my port when they access it and kill me"......crazy funny questions like that. Walking in was hard...seeing people who had already began treatment.....they were bald...pale...many looked weak and most of them were older...I knew that I would probably look similar to them soon and the reality of that is always hard to take. But thanks to some upbeat nurses and my awesome mom and brother...I wasn't down for long.

And just like it always does...God's amazing power and love was displayed for me again today. You see just as the nurse was about to access my port....... I looked up and saw my primary doctor, Dr. David England, standing right in front of me and my eyes filled up with tears. In fact as I introduced him to everyone we were all a little teary eyed...but we all manged to pretty much keep it together. You see I had not seen him since he told me I had breast cancer 3 months ago and the moment was bitter sweet. I had forgetten that his wife also had breast cancer and he was there with her for her treatment. I pretty much owe this man my life and I hope everyone out there has a doctor like him and let me tell you why. When I called him 3 months ago and told him about the lump I found.....he made me come in the next day...he didn't ignore it like many doctors would do because of my age....he immediately sent me to have a mammogram. Then instead of letting the pathologist tell me over the phone he called me personally back into his office and told me....because he said he did not want a stranger telling me something so big and it was obvious this was a very painful and hard thing for him to have to do. As soon as he told me he gave me space and time to cry but then after immediately sent me to the head nurse coordinator who is another AMAZING nurse. She cried with me...set up all my appoinments and explained the big things that would soon be coming my way....it was obvious she cared and just what I needed in my time of need. I wish I had taken a picture of us all there together at treatment today...but there was so much going on at the time that I didn't even think about it until afte he was gone. After the initial shock of seeing him wore off he and his wife sat and talked with me and I pretty much did not even notice when the accessed my port with what looked like a huge needle....but really it was nothing and I was one happy camper :) His wife told me she knew things could be worse and her eyes filled up as she told of her friend's child who has a brain tumor and has been through more than she and I combined. With tears in her eyes she said to me "I would do all this ten times over just to make sure that baby didn't have to go through all he is" and I truly believed her. We know that having breast cancer is not the worst thing and we are blessed to have the options that we do. :) Seeing him and getting to talk with them both was truly a blessing for me.....not only did it make me forget about the nurses accessing my port but it also made my heart so happy. God is so good and he surprises us just in time with exactly what we need. :)

Probably the biggest and funniest lesson I learned from today is that Benadryl knocks me out like a small child. lol They give it me to conteract any reaction I might have the chemo drugs.....the second its hits my veins I'm like "Oh yea that stuff knocks me out". Within about 1 hour I was barely coherent. The nurse said I was sleeping so hard she actually came over to make sure I was still breathing lol.....apparently she had no idea who her new patient is...sleeping has never EVER been a problem for me lol Everything took about 6 hours to finish and it went by pretty fast since I was asleep. After we left I went and did a little wig shopping. When I first walked into the store it took me about 15 minutes before I had it in me to actually try one on....it was an emotional moment but one that I new needed to happen and it actually turned out being pretty fun. Afterwards I still felt so energetic that I went for a little jog with my mom and puppy. So all in all the day was great...I'm just pretty tired now but no real complaints. I have an amazing heavenly father who is holding my hand through all of this and revealing new promisese to me everyday. The next few months are going to be hard...I am not blind to that...but I know God's grace will see me through and I will come out in the end of this journey stronger than I began. :)