Thursday, May 17, 2012

One Step Forward....One Step Back

So about a month ago I started have some leg problems. Whenever I would stand on my leg for at least an hour I'd begin to have numbing and tingling down my left leg from my hip to my knee.  I began to get more worried about it as it nagged me when I was trying to work....causing me to have to sit down at work.  This made me feel defeated like the cancer was beating me so my oncologist sent me into have a MRI down of my upper and lower back.
The results weren't fantastic but they weren't great either.  The spots that had shown up on my hip and tail bone showed up again. There are only a few and they are millimeters in size but still being told that there is cancer in your bones big or small puts fear into my head as if I needed anymore.  However, my oncologist knows me too well and told me that this does not mean my disease is progressing because these spots are not new and have not grown since the first time they were seen.
So for now we are going to try physical therapy and gabapentin for the nerve pain.  I've been to two therapy sessions and found out that the pain in my leg  and back wasn't from the cancer in my hip but from bursitis in my hip, weakened abdominal muscles, atrophied back muscles, and a pinched nerve. 
In the midst of this I have slowly gotten some energy back and have been able to do more. 
With my energy and feeling kinda "normal" again comes an old fear of something is going to go wrong. I was given the book "Jesus Calling" by a friend and I reccomend it to everyone because it really speaks to everyone no matter what the situation.  Fear of the unknown is something I think we all go through no matter what your trial. Here's some words from my daily devotions:
"When you face unexpected demands, there is no need to panic. Remember that I am with you. Talk with Me, and listen while I talk you through each challenging situation.  I am not a careless God. When I allow difficulties to come into your life, I equip you fully to handle them. Relax in My Presence, trusting in My Strength.
2 Corinthians 12:9
"Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness"

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Prayers for Trey Erwin

     So last week I saw a news story on a young man who I haven't been able to get off my mind.  His name is Trey Erwin...just 14 years old and diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. He has been through more than I can imagine, yet he and his parents faith is unshakable is and is very evident in their caring bridge.  In your prayers tonight please say one for Trey and his family and if you have time send them some is the link to his caring bridge site.....

Trey Erwins CaringBridge Page

I thought this song was fitting for this post

"Scar and Struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone"