Thursday, May 17, 2012

One Step Forward....One Step Back

So about a month ago I started have some leg problems. Whenever I would stand on my leg for at least an hour I'd begin to have numbing and tingling down my left leg from my hip to my knee.  I began to get more worried about it as it nagged me when I was trying to work....causing me to have to sit down at work.  This made me feel defeated like the cancer was beating me so my oncologist sent me into have a MRI down of my upper and lower back.
The results weren't fantastic but they weren't great either.  The spots that had shown up on my hip and tail bone showed up again. There are only a few and they are millimeters in size but still being told that there is cancer in your bones big or small puts fear into my head as if I needed anymore.  However, my oncologist knows me too well and told me that this does not mean my disease is progressing because these spots are not new and have not grown since the first time they were seen.
So for now we are going to try physical therapy and gabapentin for the nerve pain.  I've been to two therapy sessions and found out that the pain in my leg  and back wasn't from the cancer in my hip but from bursitis in my hip, weakened abdominal muscles, atrophied back muscles, and a pinched nerve. 
In the midst of this I have slowly gotten some energy back and have been able to do more. 
With my energy and feeling kinda "normal" again comes an old fear of something is going to go wrong. I was given the book "Jesus Calling" by a friend and I reccomend it to everyone because it really speaks to everyone no matter what the situation.  Fear of the unknown is something I think we all go through no matter what your trial. Here's some words from my daily devotions:
"When you face unexpected demands, there is no need to panic. Remember that I am with you. Talk with Me, and listen while I talk you through each challenging situation.  I am not a careless God. When I allow difficulties to come into your life, I equip you fully to handle them. Relax in My Presence, trusting in My Strength.
2 Corinthians 12:9
"Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness"


Cora from Hidden Riches said...

Isn't that just the greatest book???? I just love it! I'm so glad to hear that you are getting some relief from the pain. I know that anxious feeling you have, but I'm glad that those spots have not grown any bigger. I will be continuing to pray for you. I don't have to remind you of the title to your blog --- with HIM ALL things are possible! Hang on to that every minute of every day!

Marsha said...

I have used that devotional at different times in my life and it always finds a way to speak right to me. I am praying the God that reigns grants you peace and healing.

Alexandra Piper said...

Amazing - you must be very strong because you are right God only gives us what we can handle and there is always a gift as I have found on my journey through breast cancer -

Kathy Pedersen said...

I'm glad I found your blog. You are so young, yet so wise. I know God will use what you are going through to help others because you are faithful to Him. As a 13 year cancer survivor I know first hand that God WILL carry you through this cancer challenge. Keep the faith...God is near. Blessings!

donnaward said...

Hi Sarah, We met at my first Komen Walk 2 years ago through Stephani M. I think of you often and ask Stephani about you as I to work at UT. Please know that I'm praying for you and have shared the link regarding the fund raising. Remember with God all things are possible!
Donna Ward