During this time.....I was really asking God where I was supposed to be.....where he wanted me. It's a different thing when you pray to God to ask that HIS will be done and NOT mine because if I believe what I say I believe.....that means that I accept the fact that God's will could want for me to come to him.
As a human being....I'll tell it's a defining and hard moment when I open my hands to him and say that I'm allowing him to do as he pleases with me. But I know my God's plans are bigger and better than my own.
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts says the Lord and my ways are far beyond anything you can imagine"
So after I began my prayer journey, as I call it, God showed up just like promised he would. I got a call from a friend saying she wanted to be my advocate......she wanted to help me go else where for treatment if that is what I wanted. It was a moving and humbling conversation. She also introduced me to a clinic in Houston, Texas where they are doing Gene Targeted Genetic Cancer Therapy....its called The Burzynski Clinic. I began to research this facility and soon felt a tugging on my heart that this was a place I needed to be. The only problem was that it is not covered by insurance and the initial fee after I was approved was $25,000. Once again God showed up......and my friends Brook and Lelja along with many other people I work with began fundraising for me and even helped me set up a Fund at a bank where people could donate money. They called, text, emailed and traveled all over Knoxville asking businesses if they wanted to donate to help me get to Texas. These two sentences do not do justice to what these two amazing women started. In just a few short weeks they had a local yogurt shop offering to donate a percentage of their sales to me and shockingly enough more people just wanted to give me money than go to a yogurt place. I can't tell you what this does for my spirit and for my heart. I saw Christ in every person that offered me money, a hand shake or a hug.
"If you look for me whole heartedly, you will find me"
|The Flyers my friends made for the Fundraiser :)|
I will tell you it gave me the strength to keep fighting to know people really cared that much. These days money is tight and I understand that. I also understand that I am not the only cancer patient out there......so it humbles me that people would want to help ONE girl with Cancer....when there are so many other people out there.
Long story short......they raised the initial $25,000 I needed to get to Houston and to the The Burzynski Clinic I will be heading there in the next few days. I am both scared and excited......but I know God hasn't left in fact he's right here beside me.
"You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope"
Here's a news article on the funding raising that was done for me......
Fundraiser to get Knoxville Cancer Patient Out of State Treatment
I got what I felt like was further confirmation that I was on the right track when I did another MRI this past week and was told that even after taking the Tykerb again for 6 weeks a new tumor had emerged on my Cerebrum. The good news is that two tumors from my initial diagnosis in December are gone but that still leaves 6 tumors in my brain. Gamma Knife is a option......and it's a great treatment but let me be honest and say that it is a hard treatment at least for me. I'm not gonna write so that you want to say "Oh Poor Sarah".......I write this to help people understand that I just like anyone else do not want to suffer anymore than necessary. Many have suffered more than I have and I know that and thank God that things haven't been worse on me. I also understand that not everyone will agree with the direction I am choosing to take with my treatment but I believe that I am listening to the voice of my Lord and going where he leads. Do I think this place will heal me?....I honestly don't know but I do know its definitely worth a shot.
Here's a few fun pictures from some down time I had at Chemo these past few weeks
|My Nephew and I....waiting to get my Bone Shot!|
|My silly Nurse didn't want to forget to get|
a vial of my blood after chemo.....so she taped the vial
to me! lol
|This is what happens when you fall asleep during chemo....|
You get toilet papered!
|Smiling Chemo Bag....right above the sign|
TOXIC DISPOSE OF AS BIOHAZARD! lol
"But I am trust you, O Lord saying "You are my God"
For those that would like to know more about the Burzynski clinic here is a documentary on Dr. Burzynski