|Dr. Burzynski and I|
I know some may disagree and that is ok. But believe me I have prayed about this and asked for the Lord's guidance and I know that this is road God wants me on and is now leading me down.
It's crazy being the patient....in fact I hate it. I always wanted to help people and some how I became the one that needs help. Most of the time it is extremely challenging for me to accept help from others....but like a wise woman once told me don't cheat someone out of their blessing and it blesses people to bless you.
So for now I am receiving new chemo from a new doctor and taking new pills. My oncologist here is working with the treatment plan that the Burzynski Clinic wants me on. I will do about 3 rounds of this chemo before I go back to the clinic for a follow up. A nurse from the Burzynski clinic also calls me every week to check up on me. The way I see it is if you dont' think I'm gonna make it then your not on my team and I need people who believe in me to be on my team.
Right now what our big concern is my head lesions. I want to stop them completely and I'm praying that my next MRI will be clear. I hate doing head radiation.....I hate how life-less it makes me feel.....and I'm praying I don't have to do it again. So that is my big prayer right now is that I have a clear MRI in October.
I can't tell you that I've gotten a clear message about how God is gonna use me in all this......I can only hope that my struggle will be for his glory and for his name sake. I hope that when people look at me they dont' see me but they see Jesus because without him I would have been dead along time ago.
I've always said I'm a christian but in times of trial is when my faith has been tested and I have cried out "Why me?"......I did not ask for this burden but I know that my father's will is greater than my own and I trust him with everything I am.
"Father if you are willing take this cup from me; yet not my will, but your be done"