Saturday, July 6, 2013

Continuing the Journey

Life has been up and down since Febuary.  I started on a new drug called Perjeta.....while this drug is an awesome cancer also has side effects that were horrible.  It damaged my bowels with almost unbearable pain.  I spent 3 days in the hospital in March and at my worst moments I was unable to eat or drink because stomach pains were so bad that Morphine was needed. 
Me and One of Bestest Friends I've Ever
Known.  She stayed with me while
I was in the Hospital

However, it has taken a few months but with time and my savior my stomach is healing.
My PET scan has continued to look good but my brain has continued to be the hardest part of my journey.  My last scan continued to show swelling.  My doctors believe that the swelling is from different places that they have treated with Gamma Knife that are trying to heal and they are swelling and because they are inside the brain that limits the room there is for swelling, so our continued prayer is for healing in my body but especially the brain.  
These past few months have been terrifying and yet full of hope at the same time.  I wonder what God's plan is for me.....though I read in his book that he has one...I also realize his way are not my ways and his thoughts are not my thoughts. Anyone who has gone through a trial know there are moments that come and you cry out and wonder what his plan is.

Psalm  138:8
"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me, your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands"
 I have a brain MRI coming up in a few weeks....praying  and asking for prayer that the swelling has decreased.  The brain is an amazing thing and the thought of anything going wrong with it is terrifying.  In fact I'll tell you it's one of the scariest things I've ever experienced.....the thought of something going so wrong with my brain that I'm left  unable to care for myself has been one of my biggest prayers since I was diagnosed.  I NEVER want to be anyone's burden or hold anyone back.  I have always wanted to serve and having people have to serve and take care of me is a humbling experience but I am thankful that I am surrounded by people that are so willing to help me.  Just a few pictures of a few my wonderful friends that have come with me to chemotherapy.  
My Friend Monica and I

Lucilla and I

My Friend Lelja and I

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