Thursday, May 27, 2010

Out of the Darkness and Into the Light....I'M DONE WITH CHEMO!!!

So I am officially FINISHED WITH CHEMO!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!  I went last wednesday for my last chemo treatment and the day was very different than how I imagined it would be 4 months ago when I started on this journey.  The idea of being "done" with chemo is one that is surprisingly scary to me.  When the words "You have cancer" were uttered to me back in november my whole world changed, in fact it broke.  I was forced to look at my own mortality and let's face it that's not something very many 24 year olds do.  Now almost 6 months after my diagnosis I feel as if I've always had cancer...I've always been bald.  Sometimes I find it hard to remember my life before this. 
I remember after being diagnosed how hard it was to utter the words "I have cancer" to those closest to me.  Now it almost comes natural to tell people "I have cancer" or "I have been undergoing chemo".  I've become "The Girl With Cancer" and now it kind of scary to think of not being that girl anymore.  I know to some this sounds crazy but if you've been through it then I think you can relate.  I pray that God will help me use this experience to continue helping and encouraging other people.  Though I am done with chemo I am still without hair and I believe as it comes back it represents the restoration and recovery that is going on inside of me.  It only took a short time for me to enter this journey and I know it will take time before I am truly recovered.  Although as my strength comes back sometimes I wanna run as fast and as long and I can smiling and screaming all the way, praising God that I am threw with chemo and that I can move on with my life. 
On my last chemo day two of my biggest fans were with me, My mom and Step-mom.  I am also lucky enough to have the world's greatest doctor (Dr. England) show up with flowers and food to congratulate me on my big day.  I am beyond blessed to have him as my doctor and to have met his amazing wife.  The have been two angels to me through all of this.  You don't find many doctors today with the heart and compassion Dr. England has and I feel blessed that he is not only my doctor but my friend. :) I know that the devil wanted to take all this and use it to bring me down, but I refuse to let that happen.  And yes I"ll admit I have my days.  But chemo has taught me so much, I am stronger now....wiser I suppose you could say.  Part of me feels older even thoug only a few months have passed since I first started seems sometimes that I've lived a lifetime.  I thank God for getting me through and know that he will guide me in the road ahead. Thank you to everyone for all the continued support and onto the next step in my journey...RADIATION!!!
Psalm 28:7
" The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped"

1 comment:

Jennie said...

Sarah, once again, you have shown cancer from the inside out. Thank you for your candidness and transparency; your courage and mostly for you utter dependence on the ONE who carried you through this journey. "I've thrown myself headlong into your arms- I'm celebrating your rescue, I'm singing at the top of my lungs, I'm full of answered prayer." PS 13:5-6