Tuesday, September 25, 2012

His Only Begotten Son..........

So I feel led to share the hard story of what I witnessed today.  I went to a regular check up with my oncologist and there was another young girl there about my age.  She was in a wheel chair and barely able to transfer without assistance from one chair to the other.  We sat in the waiting room together not really exchaning anymore than a smile and then we both went back to have our ports accessed and blood drawn.  She went first and it turns out her port wouldn't give blood.  The nurses were being as gentle as possible but unfortunately she began to cry because it was painful.  Her tears brought tears to my eyes but what really broke my heart was when I looked over and saw her father. His eyes were filled up with tears, he did his best to hold it back but I could see and almost feel the heartbreak as he had to sit and watch his child suffer.
I felt helpless......so I closed my eyes and began tocry and pray. Speaking healing into this young womans body.....asking for God to take her pain and for her port to open.  The port never gave blood but they were eventually able to access her vein and get some blood.  Though I dont' have a child and could not fully understand what it's like to watch them go through something like this.......today I got just a little whiff of what it must be like....how hard it must be.  I often wonder how hard it is for parents to watch their children suffer.......how hard it must be for my own mother to watch me suffer at times and feel helpless.
My mind goes back to Jesus and how God sent him here to die for us.  He didn't have to but he did.....he sacrificed his only child so that we may all have life.  He watched as his son....his child suffered and died an unspeakable death on the cross.  I'd never imagined that God understands us but I realize after today that he understand us more than we realize.  He's been there....he's watched his child suffer and so with that he understands parents suffering and I know he was there in that room today.....with that man as he cried watching his child suffer.  Sometimes we forget that God's not just God......not just our Creator.....he is our Father and he understands our pains and struggles more than we realize.  I forget this sometimes.....especially during the hard times when all we want to do is have God come....sit with us....hold us.....tell him our fears and frustration and have him take our pain literally.  Even though that may not happen....know that he hears us......catches our tears....and even in the hardest moments he's carrying us because he's been there and he understands. 


NicoleB said...

Sarah are you okay? I have been checking for an update every week and am saddened to not hear from you for months. I have been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I too, am a young breast cancer patient. I was diagnosed this year at 27 years old. I hope you can update us soon.

NicoleB said...

Can anyone from Sarah's family or friends update us? I worry and pray for her each and every day.