Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Two Angels Above

There are many times in the past week or so that I have wished I were 5 years old again and my biggest worry was who was gonna play with me at play time.  But unfortunately we all must grow up and sometimes as I'm sure many people know we have things happen that we don't understand.....we don't see how the God we believe in could be involved in any way in the sadness we all have experienced at some time or another.  For the past 2 weeks these have been just a few of my thoughts and questions.   About 2 weeks ago I received a call saying that my oldest brother Brett had passed away....there aren't really any words I can use to express my grief or how my heart breaks thinking of the wife and 3 children he left behind.  I love the picture of my dad, me, mark (left), brett (right), and brittany.  It was taken almost 7 years ago on father's day in Cade's was soo excited to have us all together as
you can see by the smile on his face.  A story about my brother that I never get tired of telling is when we all were together at the hospice center in Nashville during Dad's last days with us.  We were all going to eat when I asked if we had everyone to which Brett replied "Everyone but Tator".  "Tator"? I said.....u talkin about Channing....brett replied "That's a Big Tator" lol.  Brett was witty and full of humor and once you got him goin it was all laughs.  At his funeral a young man Thomas, a young man Brett and his wife adopted, got up to talk about my brother and read a letter he had written to him. It had to be one of the most power funeral speeches I have ever heard.  Thomas told of never having a father figure around and how he had been to 5 high school in just the 4 short years high school lasts.  He told of how Brett brought him to Thanksgiving with the family, moved him into his home and made him apart of the family, and then helped him enroll at college at ETSU.  It was a powerful speech and I said whenever my time comes to go home to my heavenly father and just one person can get up and tell a story about how I impacted their life like Thomas told about how Brett forever changed his life..........then it would all be worth it.  How proud I am of my brother and the impact he made on the world and on the lives of many before he went home.  He had suffered and been sick for a while, as my father was before he passed away.  And while my heart breaks that he's gone it rejoices that he is no longer hurting.  I miss him and my dad more than any words I type could ever express. I'd be lying if I said I didn't question God or ask him why he'd taken two amazing men in my life.....why he had to have them RIGHT NOW....why he just couldn't wait.  And he reminds me with his gracious love that his thoughts are not my thoughts....nor his ways my ways.  I can't begin to understand his thinking but I have faith that it's all working together for my good.  A picture that always makes me smile is when I imagine dad and Brett seeing each other again for the first time in so long and embracing and watching us all together from heaven.  Now we have 2 guardian angels watching over us.....God bless my two brave men...I miss them so :)

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